So, last week I posted about my paternal grandfather. Today I want to talk about my maternal grandpa. Ironically, they both went by “Bill.” But it was actually Willis Pry and William Halsey. And yes, our family is distantly, very distantly related to Admiral William “Bull” Halsey of WWII fame. At least according to my uncle who does significant genealogical research.
While my dad’s parents were pretty well off, my moms were on the very opposite side of the economic spectrum. They were poor. My mom lived for many years in an abandoned train trolley car in the woods. No running water or electricity. She remembers going to get water from the creek bed about a mile away with her brother and sister to bring back for the family to use. And she hated being number three in line at the time, my grandmother would eventually have 10 children, so she was the last one to take a bath. She especially hated taking a bath after her brother, who being a typical boy, was always covered in mud and older. My grandmother thought going in birth order was the fair way to do bath time.
My grandfather worked hard for the family and worked for a while in the CCC. This was a federal relief program created by President Franklin D. Roosevelt. It provided relief to struggling families and required $25 of the $30 dollars they earned each month to be sent back to their families. I am not sure how grandpa was accepted into the program since it was for single men 18 to 25. While I am sure he made the age requirement…he was married. Anyway, he worked for the CCC.
They would eventually move into a house that was located between the railroad tracks in town right beside the “red-light” house. I never did ask my grandmother, a good Baptist woman, what she thought of that house, but they were there, as I understand it, until my grandmother inherited some money from a very distant relative that allowed them to buy a house on Grant Street where they stayed for the rest of their lives.
My grandfather was very big in scouts. He was awarded the Silver Beaver award. It is the highest distinguished service award a local council can give to an adult volunteer. It is given to those adults who have made a significant, long-term impact (more than ten years) on the lives of young people through their volunteer service to the organization. I can’t tell you how many times we would go to visit my grandparents, and the canvas tents were set up in the yard to dry/air out from a camping trip. We loved it as we would play in and around them. There was always a badminton net set up and during the summer evenings we would be out catching fireflies to put in a mason jar and set by our bedside.
One of the things I remember about my grandfather is that he had no teeth. He would probably hate it that I am sharing that fact but everyone who knew him, knew he had no teeth. And yet, he could eat anything…steak, corn on the cob, apples and I found it amazing that even without teeth, he could eat anything.
I remember when I got my first car. It was a 1964 Ford Falcon convertible with over 100,000 miles on it. I think my parents loved the car because it would NOT go over 60 miles per hour without significantly shaking and rattling down the road. My grandpa thought the car was a hoot! Anytime I would drive into town to see them, if he was there when I pulled in, he would holler: “What are you using to hold that thing together today? Binder twine or chewing gum?” I would usually holler back: “Both!” It was actually held together with hope and prayer!!!
At Thanksgiving, my grandpa would always make sure there was a ham. He loved ham. He loved Thanksgiving. I think it was merciful that God called him home the day after Thanksgiving in 1981 so he could enjoy his favorite holiday one last time. He was very active up until the day he died. Which was also a mercy. He worked for the railroad, he was highly involved in scouting, was a big man, well over six feet tall, and while I have heard stories of his younger days and how stern he was, I always knew him to be kind as well as someone who liked to tease and have fun. And, yet, like my paternal grandfather that isn’t who he was to some people.
And I think, I am sharing these stories of my grandparents, my grandmothers are next, because they show that people are both/and. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest, teaches that both/and thinking allows us as human beings to hold the tension of Paradox, Mystery, and Complexity, without trying to fit them into easy binary categories. It is too easy to think in terms of either/or, good/bad, us/them. Unfortunately, when we cling to a binary mind-set, we trivialize the complexity that makes us human.
My grandparents were wonderful people. They also interacted with people who didn’t think they were all that wonderful. Which is the importance of both/and thinking. Both/and thinking allows us to offer grace and mercy as we come to the realization, that while there may be those individuals we don’t get along with or even like, those same people have given significant love, help, support, and comfort to others. There is no one who is completely either/or. We are all some mixture of both/and.
A final thought: I find myself grieved with the current political climate that seems to be polarizing us into either/or. Fear is pulling the people of our nation into silos. The only way out, from my POV, is to join together as one. Because the bottom line is we are one nation made up of people from many nations. We are one people because we all want the same things: a better life for our children and a safe place to raise our families. We are one even as we are diverse. We are one as we live in the tension of both/and. When we finally take the time to set aside our preconceived notions and come together in conversation, we will realize that we are more alike than we are different. In Isaiah 1:18 scripture teaches us: “Come, let us reason together.” Let us learn about each other. Let us find common ground together.
And for those who might wonder what Isaiah means by the statement “come, let us reason together”…it is a driving invitation to engage in open dialog as we find ways to settle our disputes diplomatically, repent of the sins we cling to, learn how to be self-aware and seek forgiveness for the ways we have harmed others in our own ego driven blindness. It is seeking forgiveness for the ways we have harmed others and offering grace to those who need it most. It is not about us but about how we can build a better world together.
Peace,
Beth
Beth's Blog 