“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her…” Proverbs 31:28
Today is Mother’s Day. This day was established back in 1907 due to the efforts of Anna Jarvis. It is a day we honor mothers, motherhood, and all the other ways women influence us and our society. For most people, it is a great way to let their moms know how much they love them and how much they appreciate all they have done for them throughout their lives. Although, to be perfectly honest with you all, I think that is something we should be doing throughout the year and not just one day…but that is just me…or maybe it isn’t. It is also a day that has become rather commercialized as businesses get children to buy cards, flowers, and candy to give to their moms.
The thing we tend to lose sight of, with all the sentimental commercials advertising Mother’s Day, is the simple fact that there are those women who struggle with motherhood. Sure, they gave birth to a child but giving birth doesn’t make you a mom. It means you have given birth. Being a mom is hard work. And for some, it is much harder than expected. So, some children, they have difficult relationships with their moms. Some have no relationship because that is healthy for them as their mom was abusive. Some have relationships with strict boundaries in place to protect the fragility of the relationship they do have.
There are also those, whose moms have died, and this day is a reminder of all they lost. They would love to see their mom, hear their voice, even hold their hand one more time but that will never happen. It is a day filled with grief as they long for what will never be again.
For others the mother/child relationship is…well…it is just complicated.
I was and am one of the lucky ones. I have been blessed with two wonderful parents. They taught me a lot about life and how to handle situations as well as being pretty tolerant of me when I was a teenager. My mom taught me to sew, cook, and many other life skills that all people need to know how to do. She also taught me that it was perfectly ok to work outside the home. And because of the work she did, she was a Tax Specialist, I learned that I never wanted to do my own taxes! EVER!!! I know how to budget, save, and balance a check book. I learned so much and all the lessons I learned have helped me throughout my life. So, I was one of the lucky ones who had both a good mom and dad.
For those who had complicated or abusive relationships with your mom, my prayer is that you are able to come to terms with who your mom was in all her imperfections. That you are able to move beyond your past and live fully into your future with love and compassion as you overcome the difficulties of your parent/child relationship.
For those whose moms are living and who were good moms, my hope and my prayer is that your Mother’s Day will be special and filled with love and laughter. I also hope you find ways to show your appreciation to your mom throughout the year.
Happy Mother’s Day.