I have so many memories of my grandma Halsey I am not sure where to even begin. I always wonder how you condense a life into a few words. The reality is you can’t. So, instead I will try to capture a small portion of her essence…I hope.
My grandmother was born into a farming family on December 31, 1913. She lived her life in and around Galion. She was the oldest of four children. She had a sister Vera, and two brothers, Rich and Gene. The farm where she grew up was on Iberia Road and my cousin Mendy and her husband still own and run the farm.
My grandmother was smart. She graduated from Galion high school in 1930 and a relative was willing to pay for her higher education so she could become a teacher. She chose to get married instead. She and my grandpa, Bill Halsey would eventually have 10 children. The youngest is one year older than me and my Uncle Danny taught me to ride a bike. Something I still love to this day.
My grandmother was the one who influenced my faith journey the most. But please know that doesn’t mean we have the same way of viewing scripture. In fact, we would be on the opposite sides of how scripture can be interpreted. I remember three very significant things as it pertains to faith. One is that no matter what, my grandmother always stopped at some point during the day to read her Bible. There could be twenty people, mostly children, running through her house but she would still sit in her chair in the midst of all the chaos and read her Bible. The second was that almost every Saturday, she would bake sugar cookies and make Kool-aid and then head out to her front porch and all the neighborhood kids would come running for cookies, Kool-aid and Sunday school. She always taught a lesson to go along with the snack. She basically did VBS year-round weather permitting.
The final thing I remember was a conversation my grandmother and I had when I was probably about 10 or 11. But first you need to know one thing: I love dinosaurs. I still do. But when I was young, I could recite all the facts. I knew all their names. So, on one rare occasion, when my grandma and I were alone at her kitchen table, I started talking to her about my favorite subject: dinosaurs. She listened, which was something she did, she listened to her grandchildren, and then when I had waxed poetic for quite some time, I stopped and asked her what she thought about dinosaurs. My grandmother was always kind. In fact, with one exception, I personally don’t remember her saying anything negative about anyone. She always found a way to “spin” someone’s bad behavior. So, her response to me was this: “I choose not to believe in them.” WHAT!!!!! I remember sitting there in stunned silence. She did not give me her biblical beliefs. She did not berate me for believing in something she didn’t. She did not make fun of me. She simply shared she chose not to believe in them.
Here’s the gift of that conversation: just because she chose a different belief system that did not include dinosaurs, she did not condemn me for choosing one that included dinosaurs. As I grew older, I would learn there are many ways to see a scripture passage because there is a both/and reality that underlies all of scripture. I believe Amy-Jill Levine has just released a book diving deep into that concept about how the stories of scripture can speak to two different realities. I am looking forward to reading it. My grandmother taught me that concept in one sentence. For that simple gift, I am extremely grateful.
My grandma Halsey was many things in life. She was poor…very poor. She raised the first of her children in a train trolley car with no running water. She was resilient. She kept everything because “you never know when you might need it.” She was devout and lived her faith to the best of her ability every day. She loved children. She was always willing to stop chores to have fun. She would get out there and play a pick-up game of whatever. She loved to play rook and dominoes…I even have her set of rook cards and one of her domino sets. And just as my grandma Pry was an amazing cook, my grandma Halsey was not. Although as kids we loved it when she would fix Chef Boy-ar-dee pizza. You know the kind that came from a box. Boy were our taste buds undeveloped!
Throughout her life, she did what it took to earn money. She cleaned. She took care of “little old ladies” her words even as many of them were younger than her. She thrifted long before it was cool to thrift. She bragged when she was dying that she never owned a brand-new dress in her life. For her it was a testament to her ability to stretch a dollar further than a dollar could stretch. She used a wringer washer and hung clothes out to dry. She made her own lye soap to use. And she hated it any time she heard about a child being hurt in any way. There were many ministries geared specifically in the support and care of children that she supported while she was alive.
And she was human. Like my other grandparents she was both/and as she lived her life. My grandparents taught me, just by being themselves, that people are more than one thing. When we pigeon-hole someone, we are doing them a disservice. We judge them based on a single aspect of who they are. And no one is just one thing. As human beings we are multi-faceted. Just like diamonds some of us shine brightly and some need a little more polish.
I know there are many stories I could have shared about my grandparents. They were wonderful, hard-working people who lived and loved during two world wars, the great depression, and all life threw at them. Through it all, they chose to be kind, loving, and maybe most importantly, imperfect.
Peace,
Beth
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