My Uncle has an un-bucket list. It is those things in life that he is never going to do ever again. For example: he is never going to put a new roof on a house. He has done enough of them; he is done ever doing a roof again. When he was sharing all his “un-bucket” things, I thought his un-bucket list was pretty funny but then I got to thinking about it. The more I thought about it the more brilliant it became. He was clearly defining what he will not do so when people ask him if he will, he has his answer prepared: NO.
What I realized is that it is important to not only know what we will do, we need to know what we won’t do. Which makes saying no a lot easier to those things we just don’t want to do. These are the things that nothing could entice us to do them. No one could EVER entice me to eat beets. Many of the things we don’t do, deep down we know, are just wrong. Having a predetermined answer to them means we also have our “no” ready when someone asks us to do one of them. There are some things that maybe we are honestly afraid to do. And there are those things that we have tried and know we will never do again. So, like I have stated: I will never eat beets. They taste like dirt. I also know I will never eat liver or lima beans. Not happening.
But then there are the more important issues in life that we need to know what we don’t do. And knowing them helps you live your best life because you have set a boundary you can articulate to others. I know if I were to ever need a new roof, I wouldn’t ask my uncle. This idea of knowing “the don’ts” in my life, has made me wonder if I were to sit and write down a list of the things I don’t do…what would they be? Where have I drawn the “lines in the sand” and created boundaries I am unwilling to cross?
So, with those boundaries in mind here are few of my “I don’ts”
I don’t ride Ferris wheels.
I don’t worry about whether my house is perfectly clean when people come over. Instead, I would welcome you in, give you a glass of sweet tea or whatever I happened to have on hand, and we would sit and talk and laugh and enjoy being in each other’s company. Because I don’t worry about what my house looks like.
I don’t fold other people’s socks. I just don’t. That includes my husband. He folds his own socks thank you very much.
I don’t care if we have different opinions on a subject. I will like you for who you are and respect that we don’t always agree. I also won’t try to change your mind.
I don’t swim with alligators. Which means I don’t swim in any body of water in Florida. Except the ocean or swimming pools. Alligators don’t do salt water and you can see if an alligator is in your swimming pool before you dive in.
I don’t worry. I learned years ago that worry only made things worse. I began to think about what I could do to change the situation. If I could, I would make those needed changes. If I couldn’t, I learned to walk away. (it was and is never easy to walk away)
I don’t do everything. God has been gracious to me and has blessed me with a number of gifts and talents and not given me certain gifts or talents. I do what I am good at, and I let others do what they are good at. I don’t try to do everything, because no one can do it all.
I don’t do perfect. A good friends’ husband is known for saying: “Perfect is the enemy of good enough.” That is really good advice. Perfect keeps us from getting things done or even starting them in the first place. I don’t do perfect.
I don’t try to please everyone. I know I can’t. Some people will like me. Some will not. I try to treat all people with value and worth. I try to be kind to all people. I do not always succeed. I have bad days. Sometimes people will do or say something that triggers some pretty toxic stuff from my past. I try to be aware of it all but sometimes, I over-react.
I don’t do drugs. Never have. As a teen, I made that choice to not do them. Knowing my answer made saying “no” to those who offered drugs easy.
I don’t do prejudice. Unless you happen to be a mink. (see July 1, 2024, post here: Edit Post ‹ Beth’s Blog — WordPress.com) I try to accept people for who they say they are.
I could list so many more “I don’ts, some light-hearted, some pretty serious, but I won’t. I will, however, ask you all a question: “What are your don’ts?” Our “I don’ts” are boundaries we put in place that make life a little more pleasant. They can also be quite serious. When we know in advance what we don’t do, we will be able to respond with integrity, especially when we are pressed into doing something we know is wrong because it is something we don’t do.
Peace,
Pastor Beth
BTW…I am taking the next two weeks off because I do take a break now and then from my writing.
Beth's Blog 