They say grief is just love with nowhere to go. I love that statement but for me it was just a wonderful sentiment until June 14. That is the day my Dad died. On that day this lovely sentiment became very real. This past week, and I am finding it hard to believe it has been a week now, has been a whirlwind of activity and quiet. A time where a lot needed to be done and a time to sit and just be. It has been a time of laughter and a time for tears. It has had moments of joy and moments of deep sadness. It has been a time of grief where I could not say to my Dad as I left “Love you Dad…Love you Mom…as I typically would do. Dad is no longer there to share those words with that conveyed how much I loved him.
It will be a year of firsts for my family. Each one of us experiencing the milestone days in different ways. Some will be harder for each of us, and some may not register as they don’t hold the same significance. But we will grieve.
And the thing that is important is that we do grieve. Not the maudlin grief that keeps us from moving forward in life and holds us in place for ever. That is not something our loved ones would want for us. But we grieve what we have lost and then find how we can honor the life of our loved one. For me I have already determined that since my Dad lived his best life…loving his family and friends, living each moment…being present for all those he was with…I have determined I will do likewise. I will live my best life as I honor my Dad.
My prayer for each of you is when a loved one dies, or for those whose loved ones have already died, you will find some way to honor their life. Do something they loved doing. But more importantly, live your life to its fullest potential. Don’t put off doing those things you want to accomplish. Try something new, go on an adventure, take a class, volunteer…give your grief an outlet into the world for the love it wants to express.
For all who are grieving, my deepest condolences for the loss you are experiencing. May God richly bless you with God’s grace and mercy in your time of grief.